• Day 8: June 14, 2011

On my way to being a skinny biatch! At some point I was going to have to say it…haha

Today has been a good day, but my appetite has been really low. Do you ever have those moments when you’re really hungry, but you’re in the middle of something and can’t stop and when you finally do; even the smell of food makes you sick? That was me at lunch time today. I was so looking forward to another day of my yummy soup and I just couldn’t stomach it. I tried to eat all of the chicken and as much broth as I could, but the smell of all food just turned my stomach. I didn’t force it, but I’m feeling the effects now as its approaching dinner time. I have been able to spread my snack for the day out this afternoon, so I’m feeling much better. I think I’m dehydrated just a little. Looking back through my daily log, I realized that I didn’t drink hardly anything yesterday. I guess I got caught up in the excitement of Fundraising. Today I’ve made a conscience effort to drink, drink, drink!

As you all know, I’ve still not told most of the people around me that I’m doing this diet. Laura, my coworkers invited me over for steaks this evening…I was scared. Please don’t laugh; it’s the fear that has me scared. It’s been rescheduled for tomorrow evening but I just spoke with Alicia and got some good advice, so I should be fine. Now the question is what to have for dinner tonight…

Since I had both of my breadstick left for the day, I decided to try breaded chicken with a tomato sauce. It was yummy!

• Day 7: June 13, 2011

1.5 pounds drop, bringing the total to 7 pounds!!! I feel like a skinny girl today. Looking forward to my chicken soup for lunch, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Lunch was fabulous! It smelt and tasted so good. I worked on the fundraising all day and was completely distracted and forgot to take my second round of drops until 4:30pm! Yes, that’s right. When I got home, I totally changed the menu for the evening….I don’t know why, but I was craving a burger. I did the next best thing….100g veal patty on the George Foreman. It was thin and crispy and really delicious, that and a side of asparagus was my mini meal for the evening. However, I couldn’t just stop with that. Ever since I mentioned apple sauce on Sunday I have been craving it too. So, I set my goals high and tried another new thing…perfect!

Apple Sauce:

• 1 lg apple peeled and chopped up
• ½ cup water
• Cinnamon as desired
• 1 TBS of Stevia

Let this boil on high for about 30 mins. Then place apple chunks into the magic bullet (aka my new best friend) and puree until desired texture. I also placed one ice cube and diced with the apples. Place in frig or freezer until desired temperature is reached. Enjoy!

I think next time I will have to make more than 1 apple at a time.

Do you know what I’ve come to love about this process? Nothing really takes that long to prepare or to cook, plus I hardly spend anytime cleaning up! Also, I’ve learned a lot of great ways to make things I’ve always enjoyed and can share with my friends.

• Day 6: June 12, 2011

I was so proud of myself when I woke up. I had really survived my first party and I didn’t even cheat! I wanted to see how much progress I had made, so I quickly stripped down and headed to the scale……NOTHING! I was so heartbroken. Over the past couple of days, I had posted significant numbers. Trying not to feel defeated, I began to research why this had happened. I recapped the day in my head, run through my meals with my roommate no cheats took place, so why after what felt like the hardest night of my life did I not drop any weight?

After doing a little research I presumed that the fat being used up was being replaced my water. Although I had drunk plenty of fluids the previous day, my urine output was significantly less than it had been on any other day. Believe it or not, this made me feel better – had I not found anything, I might have taken down the pan of brownies still sitting on the counter from the previous night.

The remainder of the day was well and my appetite wasn’t the same as the previous days. I didn’t eat my afternoon snack or my breadstick at dinner. I will say that there is always an underling “hunger” per say that I have, but I don’t feel famished. Should people always feel this way? I don’t know the answer to this…

Chicken Broth Base:

· 400 grams chicken

· 8 cups water

· 2 cups celery (needed to find a use for it after all)

· Salt/Pepper/Cajun Seasoning/Onion Salt/Garlic Salt

Boil on High for about 30 minutes. In an ice tray separate out base for future use =)

• Day 5: June 11, 2011

My hope was to make this day as easy as possible, but I knew I would need an army of support around me. Today was the day of Leigh’s birthday party/cookout. Not only were we going to have people over drinking and celebrating, there was going to be lot and LOTS of food. None of which I was going to be allowed to touch. Not to mention, the evenings have been a little hard for me. I’ve noticed that about 9:00 – 9:30 pm, I am getting really tired and if I force myself to stay awake, I get really hungry. And just a reminder, other than my roommates no one at this party knows what’s going on. Can you see my dilemma?

The day had gone by really well, but now it was party time. People were arriving at the house, the grill was fired up and music was on, it was do or die time. I had purposefully saved my evening snack and dinner until later, because I didn’t want to “look” like I wasn’t eating and participating. I thought this would through up questions in some of my friends minds. I mean I was already using the excuse that I couldn’t drink because of medicine…what would be my excuse for not eating, plus the smell would’ve drove me insane.

I placed myself at the bar in front of all of the food. I’ve learned that people “think” your participating more if you’re positioned in front of the food. They think your grabbing handfuls of food here and there. This worked to my advantage and even eating diner wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Before the large crowd got there I simple roasted my asparagus in the oven and heated up my chicken, stating how hungry I was that I just couldn’t wait on the burgers. I think from the night, Wendy was the only one questioning me in her head. I will not be surprised if she doesn’t ask Teri what’s going on.

Other than wanting to punch my roomie in the face and steal her corn on the cob and hot dog, wanting to steal a brownie away from a pregnant friend, I would say that the night was all in all successful. Of course I did none of the above, but the thoughts crossed my mind. Remember, I just in the “beginning” stage of this process. If those are the worse thoughts that crossed my mind, I think I’m doing really well.

• Day 4: June 10, 2011

Limiting what I ate yesterday was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do! I followed the diet to a T and by yesterday evening I was starving, literally I thought I could eat my arm. I think this is going to take some getting used to, but also I’m going to need a distraction from food, until my body can adjust. Like those really busy days at work and you look up and it’s 3:30pm and you’ve forgotten to eat lunch. Yeah, I’m going to need some days like that. Good thing we’re going into the weekend. I think sitting at this desk all day, even when I don’t want to I feel the urge to eat.

Last night the pirate ship was so much fun! I can’t wait to do it again when I don’t have restrictions and I can participate in the drinking games. I will say this process is making me become very aware of my surroundings. What I put into my body and what I put on my body. Without evening thinking, I put two temporary tattoos on my body. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realized this may not have been the best thing…would this stall my progress? The not drinking wasn’t all that bad. I was easily about to say no thanks I’ve got some in my bottle. (water that is), plus I had Kendall with me, who knows what I’m going through. It was the food that Susan had brought, strawberries and cheese and crackers that almost got the best of me. I was so hungry by the time I got home, the 15 minutes Ineeded to wait after taking the drops felt almost impossible. Coupled with the headache I had had all day, it was a nightmare. I was able to cut measure and cook chicken for 5 meals. With the help of Kendall who took over the last measuring and cooking session, so I could put down a salad. I have a feeling that I will be eating a lot of them. I found out yesterday that I don’t quite like celery as much as I thought I did….you know without wing sauce and ranch dressing – it’s just not the same.

One Tylenol and Melatonin later, I was off to bed and a restful night of sleep…

I was super excited this morning to weigh myself. It was the first official day on the diet and after all the pain of not eating yesterday I was hoping for a large number on the scale. 2.5 pounds, I will take it! Today’s loss brings my total to 3.5 pounds, not to bad for 3 days worth of work. At this rate, I will have major success, but I know one day at a time. I’m sure there are going to be days when it’s a lot less.

After my new morning routine was complete, I headed to the kitchen to get my food ready for the day. On a side note, while cooking last night I think I learned how to make blackened chicken….or at least this is what I’m going to call it. I knew from yesterday that I didn’t want to repeat my hunger pains nor did I want to repeat dry celery. I also knew I needed a different solution for a salad dressing. Although Kendall’s balsamic vinegar did the trick last night, it was a little too tangy for my taste buds.

I made two new things this morning…. What I will call my “honey mustard” dressing and an alternative to sweet tea.

Honey mustard dressing:

• Dijon mustard

• Water

• Stevia

• Red Wine Vinegar

I am sure that I will need to perfect this receipt, but for today it will work. I will be having a blackened chicken salad with honey mustard dressing. Doesn’t sound too bad.

Sweet Tea:

• Lipton’s Iced Brew Tea (this is also new for me)
• 1/3c Stevia

Today, I am trying to do things a little bit differently than yesterday. I am trying to hold off on eating my “snack” until the afternoon. This will give me a little more to eat in the afternoon and I’m hoping it will help me at night. I don’t want to repeat last night’s hunger pains.

I must say, this was very good idea! I did so much better, although hungry with a growling tummy, I didn’t get the head ache and unbearable feeling that I had the previous night.

I was also so happy for the things I accomplished today. I left work a little early to try and beat my roomies home. Seeing how it was my weekend to clean and how I had left the kitchen a complete disaster the night before, I didn’t want to get yelled at! Haha. I also needed to divide up my food quantities from my shopping trip. It surprises me that I can get 2, yes 2 days worth of meals out of one package a meat! I know, usually that would be 2 meals not 4.

It was time to experiment; I just couldn’t stomach another salad, especially not having a dressing perfected. Don’t get me wrong, the “honey mustard” dressing for lunch was do-able but it wasn’t great. My goal all weekend was to come up with something that I could eat more than once…that never happened. You know when you can’t stomach the thought of smelling something again….yeah, I’m there with dressings.

I decided tonight was the night for veal meatballs and tomato sauce. The true Italian was about to come out of me and it did!

Veal Meat Balls:

• 100 grams veal
• Salt/Pepper/Onion Salt/Garlic Salt/Italian Seasonings
• 2 tbs water
• 1 breadstick

Mix and make into 5 small meatballs. Place on pan and cook in the over on 350 deg for about 20-25 minutes. If you like your meatballs a little crispier cook up to 30 minutes.

Real Tomato Sauce:

• Peel 2 tomatoes and puree in the magic bullet
• Dice ½ clove of garlic
• ¼ cup water
• Salt/Pepper/Onion Salt/Italian Seasonings
• 3 Dashes of red wine vinegar

Cook on stovetop (med-high) for about 30 minutes. Sauce will begin to thicken and will turn a darker red.

Dinner was fabulous and for a moment I felt like a real Italian chef!

• Day 3: June 9, 2011

I should have a swanky title for each day that could get hilarious. Todays would be “learning to like” or “the hottest day of the year”. Either would be appropriate, because it’s going to be 102 deg today and I’m eating a grapefruit for the first time ever. It’s not so bad, but I’m going to have to acquire a taste for it.

Let’s go back to last night…I had the most awful headache when I got home, not knowing what I was or wasn’t allowed to take I suffered through it. But between the headache and my master meal of two tacos and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream desert, the last thing I wanted to do was spend any more time in the kitchen. I had already put off weighing and repackaging my food for one night, what was another…except today was the day I need it and I’m not great in the morning.

Knowing that I was going to need some extra time this morning to prepare my meals for the day, I set my alarm for a little earlier than normal…..FAIL! I actually woke up later than normal…but it’s all good, I got myself together and even managed to get to work not too terribly late this morning.

I think it’s kind of appropriate that today is the day of new beginnings in my life. This is the 3 year anniversary of me moving to Baltimore and starting a new life in a brand new city. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long. I remember before I moved here, I thought to myself….this is it, a new start a new beginning a new you. This is the time that you can change your life…no distractions and no excuses…..well since I’m typing this and I’m on this diet, It’s apparent that that didn’t happen. I actually went in reverse, gaining more weight. Today is the day about seizing the moment and learning to say no more.

It was to my great surprise this morning when I read the scale, one pound drop since the previous day. I don’t know how that is possible because of all the things I ate but none the less my first pound lost. I wish I could put it in a frame and hang it on the wall, like businesses do when they make their first dollar. Okay, I guess that wouldn’t be too appealing but you get the point.

• Day 2: June 8, 2011

You will be pleased to know that last night went very well. I went to the grocery store and picked up everything I needed. So much for the smaller grocery bill….fresh produce is not cheap y’all. Then I went home and stuffed my face with Taco’s! Believe me, it’s no Taco Casa, but it still fills you up just the same. I ate so much yesterday that I don’t know how I’m going to do it again today. The smell and the thought of food make me want to throw up! I guess the drops are working or I’m assuming that’s what it is. On the menu this morning and really all day is tacos. I’ve got to finish up the meat and cheese =)

Ello farm fried chicken….you smelt amazing today; I couldn’t leave without saying good bye….Yes Please! Lol

• Day 1: June 7, 2011

This morning I started the drops for the first time. Per the instructions, I left them to absorb under my tongue for the full 3-5 minutes, they burned a little. It immediately made me wonder if I had done something wrong. Then waiting 15mins I also did the b12 drops….just in case. To say I’m a little scared would be an understatement. I desperately want this process to work and I’m scared of failing the diet and myself. I’m also scared of it working. I know how crazy this sounds, but I’ve carved out a nice little piece of this world, just for me and I know how to belong just as I am. Even though, just as I am, I am not as happy as I know I could be. Although, I have been through the process of losing weight before, I still wonder if people will look at me different and treat me different. I guess only time will tell, because right now I’m doing this for me and not for them.

Having had a friend go through this diet, she has been kind enough to share some of her experiences with me, both good and bad. I know today is the day my body will start “flushing” for lack of a better term the excess water from my body. Hoping that I will not have the same, “oh shit” moment of sitting in traffic in my car and realizing you have to go; I am extremely anxious that I may pee myself as well. Good thing I am right next to the bathroom here at work.

Knowing I cannot do this alone, I chose to tell 4 friends about what I’m getting myself into. They are great supporters in my life and I know through this journey they will be there to support, encourage and lift me up. I also know they will keep my in check so the “cheating” will not be tolerated. First is Alicia, my best friend back home, she is the person I will be able to rely on with any questions or concerns. She and her husband have been where I am right now and introduced me to the HCG diet. Second is Mauricio, aka AROD, my lover, friend and trainer. I first approached him about this when I was thinking this was the step for me. I filled him with literature to read and the knowledge I had gained from Alicia. He has been supportive and encouraging since day one and I know he will continue to be. The third person I confided in was my best friend and roommate, Teri. Knowing I needed to have an accountability partner at home, this decision was easy. Teri is my “tell it like it is” Sista! I know through this process I will be able to talk to her about anything and she will be there to give me the truth as she always does. The last person is my other roommate Kendall. Although new to the house, I have developed a deep level of trust and appreciation for her. And even though she sometimes complains about an extra 5 lbs and I want to slap her (because she’s got a great body), I know she understands where I’m at with my weight loss and the struggles (even 5 little pounds) can be on a person.

Raising my glass of water….Here’s to a successful 40 day journey and to day one of gorging all I can eat of my favorite foods. I know that even if I pee myself today, it will still be easier than days 3-40.

Today’s follow up, so it’s 4:30pm and I don’t know how it’s possible to eat as much as I have. I’ve already consulted with Alicia and I MUST keep forcing it in, she even suggested a milk shake reward after work. Is that even possible?!? Spaghetti for breakfast, Stromboli for lunch a cupcake, spoonful of peanut butter, apple and caramel, 20oz coke, 4 glasses of water…and I almost forgot the skittles! I’m getting it all in before I can’t have it again. I need something with lots of cheese for dinner or maybe taco’s. It’s like I’ve gone to an all you can eat place and I’m trying to eat all they have….well all the bad stuff anyways!

Two more hours until my next dose of drops and then dinner and midnight snack? I should add up all of the calories, I’m sure it will be astronomical!

Next step, other than eat….I need to go to the grocery store with my list. I think this is going to be the time that I “try” some new things. With a limited menu of items to choose from, I’m going to have to get creative and think outside of the box. To play it safe I should probably stick with what I know first and then start changing it up when I get bored. Maybe I’ll be more likely to like the new things. If nothing else, my grocery budget this month is going to be slim….just like me at the end of this…..

On a different note: my eyes are deceptive but not in the way that most people’s are. I think this has been a blessing and may have been a curse. Wondering what I’m talking about?!? I just looked at the pictures from my sister’s wedding and I’m big. Not like, oh I need to lose 10 lbs big, but really big! What was more shocking to me is that I thought I was looking good, through exercise and portion control leading up to the wedding I had already managed to lose 20lbs. I just don’t see myself that way, so why does the camera? More importantly, why hasn’t anyone said something? Throw being politically correct out the window, yeah it would hurt my feelings but I’d rather it hurt my feelings and spare my life. DANG!!

I have to start taking care of myself. And as a friend reminded me this weekend (about something completely unrelated, but still relevant), you must do exactly what you say you’re going to do. Be consistent, your actions should match your words exactly.

As funny as this may be, I think putting it in writing will help to remind me on the “hard” days what I want and what I said I was going to do….

I pledge to myself that from this point moving forward, I will do everything that is needed to take care of myself. I will lose the excess weight that I am carrying around with me; I will not let it weigh me down any longer. I will succeed through the HCG diet, following the process to the best of my ability every day. I will change my lifestyle and habits to incorporate a healthier way of life for myself.